Kojira DeSoto was the son of Jiro DeSoto, the founder of the Japanese Institute of Science and Microbiology, located in Tsukuba, Japan. One day, Jiro died of heart complications. Kojira was called into his father's office by Jiro's secretary, Hiranaka Ansadora. Being a licensed helicopter pilot, Kojira flew in and landed on the helipad of the JISM building.
"Choobinuptu, Hiranaka?" asked Kojira when he got to his father's office.
"What did you say?" asked Hiranaka.
"Did I stutter? I said, 'What have you been up to, Hiranaka?' I haven't seen you since the Christmas party. Although, I admit, I don't remember much about that night."
"I've been really busy with the company since your father died, but I hope to be able to go see a Kabuki show this weekend. That's why I called you here," explained Hiranaka.
"How about Noh?"
"Huh?" asked Hiranaka.
"What about Noh?" repeated Kojira.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"What part of Noh do you not understand?"
"Anyway, Kojira. I called you here today because your father has left the company to you to lead."
"Holy shit, you for reals?"
"Uh, yes. But don't worry, you will have help."
"Wait, why can't you do it?"
"Your father's will specifically names you as the next CEO of JISM."
"So what's this help you mentioned?"
"Your father's trusted second man, Shavonte. He's on his way up here right now." Just then the double door opened and a man walked in. "Ah, here he is now. I'll leave the two of you now."
"I'm Shavonte Nakamoto."
"Shavonte? Somehow I thought you'd be..."
"Taller?"
"Yeah, that too."
Shavonte had worked for Jiro since the beginning. He had watched him erect JISM from the ground up. He secretly resented the fact that Kojira, who had no experience whatsoever, had been made CEO. Behind his back, he called Kojira 'Tatami Boy'. The biggest test for how JISM would stand after Jiro's untimely fate came in the form of an email from Russia.
JISM was on the forefront of cloning technology. Recently, the well-preserved remains of a woolly mammoth had been discovered in Russia. The scientists in Russia wanted to bring some of the remains to Japan for possible cloning. It was Shavonte's job to make sure Kojira didn't screw this up. First things first, he had to call him from wherever the hell he was and get him into the office.
After several attempts, Shavonte finally got through. "There you are. Haven't you heard my phone calls?"
"No. My phone's on vibrate mode."
"Where is it?"
"In my pocket."
"Numb nuts, I've been trying to get a hold of you for an hour now!"
"I've been flying around Tsukuba in my new helicopter. I was just thinking about you too. Do you think I'm too skinny to be a sumo wrestler?"
"What? That's not important right now."
"Well it's important to me. I've always wanted to be a sumo wrestler."
Shavonte took a deep breath. "Do you know what I just found out that I didn't know?"
"You're gay?"
"No!"
"Oh, you already knew that?"
Shavonte counted to ten in his head before resuming communication with Tatami Boy. "Russia has the mummified remains of a woolly mammoth and they want to bring them here so that we can clone it."
"You shitting me? My dad wouldn't even let me have a dog growing up. What the hell do you feed a woolly mammoth? Do they like peanuts? You're a scientist. Where we gonna keep him?"
Shavonte cracked his knuckles one finger at a time, letting his heart rate lower before addressing Tatami Boy. "The cargo is already on its way. Hiranaka is at the receiving bay awaiting their arrival. The remains have been kept frozen so we'll have to thaw some of it so that we can try to extract DNA."
"Hey, does my dad's computer get internet?"
"He was the CEO of JISM. Yes, his computer gets internet."
"Cool, I'm gonna start pricing out peanuts in bulk."
"Whatever. I'll be downstairs with Hiranaka. We'll call you if we need anything."
Shavonte and Hiranaka signed all the paperwork for the mammoth remains, then it was off to the thawing room. Hiranaka was so excited he wanted to stay in the room with the remains.
"Hey man, a watched pot never boils," warned Shavonte.
"Oh I know, but we're really doing it aren't we?"
"Yes, we are. I'm excited too. Tatami Boy is upstairs buying peanuts for our little nest egg here." The two of them shared a laugh over that one, then Shavonte left Hiranaka in the thawing room to go eat.
When Shavonte got back from lunch, he went back into the thawing room. Hiranaka was face down on the floor. "Holy Krizmak! Hiranaka, what happened?" He turned Hiranaka's body over and lightly smacked him on each cheek in an attempt to rouse him. The downed scientist wasn't breathing and his skin was cool to the touch. Suddenly his eyes flew open.
Shavonte was confused at the seemingly mixed signals he was getting from his fallen comrade. Some signs of death, some signs of life. In his head, he tried to make a tally of each. He figured the the ratio of living attributes to dead attributes should tip the scales one way or the other.
It seemed like a good idea until Hiranaka clamped his jaw solidly on Shavonte's wrist. That still didn't answer the living or dead question for Shavonte, but it did hurt like hell. He pulled his hand away from his friend's teeth and ran out of the room.
In the meantime, Hiranaka ran around the building biting all the scientists. Shavonte was cowering in the security room watching this horror unfold. Every person that Hiranaka bit eventually became another not-quite-dead biter. Luckily, Shavonte's wound wasn't very bad, but he knew that he'd become one of those things he was watching on the closed circuit television.
He decided to call Kojira. "Kojira, this is Shavonte. We have a problem."
"Me too, man. My online search hasn't amounted to a hill of beans."
Shavonte finally had no more patience. "Will you shut up about your peanuts for one second! Hiranaka's dead or something. Anyway, he's biting people and making them almost dead too."
"Or almost alive, depending on which way you wanna look at it."
"So all these people are sick with this undeadness. It's transmitted through bites and I've been bitten. Hiranaka is the index patient and he bit me. I figured you could medivac me to a nearby hospital in your helicopter before I turn into one of those things."
"What's an index patient?" Kojira asked.
"It's the first person to present with a disease."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm in the security room."
"I'm on my way."
"Be careful. There are a lot of those things all over the building."
"I'll be there as soon as I can be."
"And, Kojira."
"Yes?"
"Thank you." Shavonte pressed the button to disconnect. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Kojira to make it from his father's office on the 27th floor to the security room on the first floor. As time went by, he became more and more despondent.
After twenty minutes, he knew he wouldn't make it to the hospital. He wanted to make sure he wouldn't come back after he died. He took a power cord and made a noose out of it. He slipped it over his head and stood on a rolling chair. It was while he was standing there that Kojira finally arrived.
"Dude, what are you doing? We have to go!"
"I can't. I'll be dead in a matter of minutes and I don't want to come back."
"I'm sorry I took so long. I had to kill several of those things on my way here. I noticed you have to destroy the brain in order to silence them permanently."
"Yeah, I know. I saw you on the security monitors. That's why I'm standing here with a noose around my neck. Once I die, my body will become slack, separating my head from my spinal cord and preventing my return as one of the undead."
"If I had just gotten here sooner, I would have been able to save you."
"You could have just abandoned me and flown away to safety, but you risked your life to try to save mine."
"But I've never finished anything in my life. And now, when it matters the most, I've failed again."
Shavonte was touched. "I appreciate that I matter to you that much. I know what you mean about never being able to finish anything. When I was a kid, my parents put me in karate classes. I got all the way to red belt, but I never went for the final test to make black belt. That has defined my life. I've spent my entire life as a red belt. Which is why I resented you being made CEO of this company I've worked so hard to climb the ranks in. I felt cheated out of my prize."
"God, I'm so sorry. I never even wanted to follow in my father's footsteps. I didn't do very well in school. The only way I was able to get through some of my classes in high school was by doing makeup work and extra credit. I realize that I have taken on this whole attitude in life. Makeup work is basically easy extra work that you do because you didn't do well at the prescribed objective. For instance, to make up for having done poorly on a math test I would make up my grade by doing extra math problems as homework. The problem lies in the fact that doing work at home with the book in no way gives you any indication of how well you know the material. You're just doing it robotically like the book tells you to. The real test would be to see how well you do with no one helping you and you have to know on your own how to solve a problem.
I would have no idea how to run this company."
"I'm sure that if all this hadn't happened, you would have done a great job running this company. I've seen what you can do when you set your mind to it. You fought your way through a building full of the undead so that you could save my life. You're also the one who successfully got your helicopter pilot license. I wouldn't have been able to fly myself to a hospital." Shavonte's body started to go into convulsions. After a while, it went still and the wheeled chair rolled to the side. Once his legs were suspended in the air, there was an audible crack as his neck broke.
Kojira made his way past the undead and got to the roof of his father's building. He boarded the helicopter and flew off, leaving his old life behind.
"Choobinuptu, Hiranaka?" asked Kojira when he got to his father's office.
"What did you say?" asked Hiranaka.
"Did I stutter? I said, 'What have you been up to, Hiranaka?' I haven't seen you since the Christmas party. Although, I admit, I don't remember much about that night."
"I've been really busy with the company since your father died, but I hope to be able to go see a Kabuki show this weekend. That's why I called you here," explained Hiranaka.
"How about Noh?"
"Huh?" asked Hiranaka.
"What about Noh?" repeated Kojira.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"What part of Noh do you not understand?"
"Anyway, Kojira. I called you here today because your father has left the company to you to lead."
"Holy shit, you for reals?"
"Uh, yes. But don't worry, you will have help."
"Wait, why can't you do it?"
"Your father's will specifically names you as the next CEO of JISM."
"So what's this help you mentioned?"
"Your father's trusted second man, Shavonte. He's on his way up here right now." Just then the double door opened and a man walked in. "Ah, here he is now. I'll leave the two of you now."
"I'm Shavonte Nakamoto."
"Shavonte? Somehow I thought you'd be..."
"Taller?"
"Yeah, that too."
Shavonte had worked for Jiro since the beginning. He had watched him erect JISM from the ground up. He secretly resented the fact that Kojira, who had no experience whatsoever, had been made CEO. Behind his back, he called Kojira 'Tatami Boy'. The biggest test for how JISM would stand after Jiro's untimely fate came in the form of an email from Russia.
JISM was on the forefront of cloning technology. Recently, the well-preserved remains of a woolly mammoth had been discovered in Russia. The scientists in Russia wanted to bring some of the remains to Japan for possible cloning. It was Shavonte's job to make sure Kojira didn't screw this up. First things first, he had to call him from wherever the hell he was and get him into the office.
After several attempts, Shavonte finally got through. "There you are. Haven't you heard my phone calls?"
"No. My phone's on vibrate mode."
"Where is it?"
"In my pocket."
"Numb nuts, I've been trying to get a hold of you for an hour now!"
"I've been flying around Tsukuba in my new helicopter. I was just thinking about you too. Do you think I'm too skinny to be a sumo wrestler?"
"What? That's not important right now."
"Well it's important to me. I've always wanted to be a sumo wrestler."
Shavonte took a deep breath. "Do you know what I just found out that I didn't know?"
"You're gay?"
"No!"
"Oh, you already knew that?"
Shavonte counted to ten in his head before resuming communication with Tatami Boy. "Russia has the mummified remains of a woolly mammoth and they want to bring them here so that we can clone it."
"You shitting me? My dad wouldn't even let me have a dog growing up. What the hell do you feed a woolly mammoth? Do they like peanuts? You're a scientist. Where we gonna keep him?"
Shavonte cracked his knuckles one finger at a time, letting his heart rate lower before addressing Tatami Boy. "The cargo is already on its way. Hiranaka is at the receiving bay awaiting their arrival. The remains have been kept frozen so we'll have to thaw some of it so that we can try to extract DNA."
"Hey, does my dad's computer get internet?"
"He was the CEO of JISM. Yes, his computer gets internet."
"Cool, I'm gonna start pricing out peanuts in bulk."
"Whatever. I'll be downstairs with Hiranaka. We'll call you if we need anything."
Shavonte and Hiranaka signed all the paperwork for the mammoth remains, then it was off to the thawing room. Hiranaka was so excited he wanted to stay in the room with the remains.
"Hey man, a watched pot never boils," warned Shavonte.
"Oh I know, but we're really doing it aren't we?"
"Yes, we are. I'm excited too. Tatami Boy is upstairs buying peanuts for our little nest egg here." The two of them shared a laugh over that one, then Shavonte left Hiranaka in the thawing room to go eat.
When Shavonte got back from lunch, he went back into the thawing room. Hiranaka was face down on the floor. "Holy Krizmak! Hiranaka, what happened?" He turned Hiranaka's body over and lightly smacked him on each cheek in an attempt to rouse him. The downed scientist wasn't breathing and his skin was cool to the touch. Suddenly his eyes flew open.
Shavonte was confused at the seemingly mixed signals he was getting from his fallen comrade. Some signs of death, some signs of life. In his head, he tried to make a tally of each. He figured the the ratio of living attributes to dead attributes should tip the scales one way or the other.
It seemed like a good idea until Hiranaka clamped his jaw solidly on Shavonte's wrist. That still didn't answer the living or dead question for Shavonte, but it did hurt like hell. He pulled his hand away from his friend's teeth and ran out of the room.
In the meantime, Hiranaka ran around the building biting all the scientists. Shavonte was cowering in the security room watching this horror unfold. Every person that Hiranaka bit eventually became another not-quite-dead biter. Luckily, Shavonte's wound wasn't very bad, but he knew that he'd become one of those things he was watching on the closed circuit television.
He decided to call Kojira. "Kojira, this is Shavonte. We have a problem."
"Me too, man. My online search hasn't amounted to a hill of beans."
Shavonte finally had no more patience. "Will you shut up about your peanuts for one second! Hiranaka's dead or something. Anyway, he's biting people and making them almost dead too."
"Or almost alive, depending on which way you wanna look at it."
"So all these people are sick with this undeadness. It's transmitted through bites and I've been bitten. Hiranaka is the index patient and he bit me. I figured you could medivac me to a nearby hospital in your helicopter before I turn into one of those things."
"What's an index patient?" Kojira asked.
"It's the first person to present with a disease."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm in the security room."
"I'm on my way."
"Be careful. There are a lot of those things all over the building."
"I'll be there as soon as I can be."
"And, Kojira."
"Yes?"
"Thank you." Shavonte pressed the button to disconnect. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Kojira to make it from his father's office on the 27th floor to the security room on the first floor. As time went by, he became more and more despondent.
After twenty minutes, he knew he wouldn't make it to the hospital. He wanted to make sure he wouldn't come back after he died. He took a power cord and made a noose out of it. He slipped it over his head and stood on a rolling chair. It was while he was standing there that Kojira finally arrived.
"Dude, what are you doing? We have to go!"
"I can't. I'll be dead in a matter of minutes and I don't want to come back."
"I'm sorry I took so long. I had to kill several of those things on my way here. I noticed you have to destroy the brain in order to silence them permanently."
"Yeah, I know. I saw you on the security monitors. That's why I'm standing here with a noose around my neck. Once I die, my body will become slack, separating my head from my spinal cord and preventing my return as one of the undead."
"If I had just gotten here sooner, I would have been able to save you."
"You could have just abandoned me and flown away to safety, but you risked your life to try to save mine."
"But I've never finished anything in my life. And now, when it matters the most, I've failed again."
Shavonte was touched. "I appreciate that I matter to you that much. I know what you mean about never being able to finish anything. When I was a kid, my parents put me in karate classes. I got all the way to red belt, but I never went for the final test to make black belt. That has defined my life. I've spent my entire life as a red belt. Which is why I resented you being made CEO of this company I've worked so hard to climb the ranks in. I felt cheated out of my prize."
"God, I'm so sorry. I never even wanted to follow in my father's footsteps. I didn't do very well in school. The only way I was able to get through some of my classes in high school was by doing makeup work and extra credit. I realize that I have taken on this whole attitude in life. Makeup work is basically easy extra work that you do because you didn't do well at the prescribed objective. For instance, to make up for having done poorly on a math test I would make up my grade by doing extra math problems as homework. The problem lies in the fact that doing work at home with the book in no way gives you any indication of how well you know the material. You're just doing it robotically like the book tells you to. The real test would be to see how well you do with no one helping you and you have to know on your own how to solve a problem.
I would have no idea how to run this company."
"I'm sure that if all this hadn't happened, you would have done a great job running this company. I've seen what you can do when you set your mind to it. You fought your way through a building full of the undead so that you could save my life. You're also the one who successfully got your helicopter pilot license. I wouldn't have been able to fly myself to a hospital." Shavonte's body started to go into convulsions. After a while, it went still and the wheeled chair rolled to the side. Once his legs were suspended in the air, there was an audible crack as his neck broke.
Kojira made his way past the undead and got to the roof of his father's building. He boarded the helicopter and flew off, leaving his old life behind.
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