"Shite en me hosen!" cried Mbu.
"What?" asked his father who seemed unperturbed by the newly arrived soldiers.
"Did I stutter? Who are those people pointing guns at us?"
"Oh them. That's just the Centimator and its crew. They patrol the grounds to help keep us safe. Hey! Soldiers, I've got everything under control."
"We heard a gun shot."
"Yeah, that was me. A zombie was attacking these two boys and I shot her. You guys can run along now."
The soldiers loaded up back into the vehicle and drove off into the night.
"Actually dad, that was Helen. She was with us."
Father Ng didn't say a word. He just stood there stunned by the news. He put his hands face up in front of him and stared at them. After a while they balled into fists. "I committed murder. God help me."
"Dad. You didn't know. It's dark out here. I mean, we're safe." Mbu tried to comfort his dad.
"Yes you are safe. You should go into the complex and see your mother. She's been so worried about you. She will be so glad you're alive and well. It's good to see you too, Hewlett. I've got to finish my shift, but I'll be in later. We can talk then. We're staying in room 407." Mbu and his father hugged and then Mbu and Hewlett entered the gate.
When they got to the room, Mbu knocked. His mother opened the door and immediately tears sprang to her eyes. They hugged for a long time. "I've been worried sick! I can't believe you're back! Hey, Hewlett. How are you?"
"I'm good, Mrs. Ng."
"Hey mom, can we shower? We smell like a cheese even the French wouldn't eat." She pointed them in the direction of the bathroom and they went off to clean themselves. By the time they were clean she had prepared some food for them and they sat around the table talking over food. At 4am, Father Ng joined them at the table and joined in on the current discussion.
"When we got here, this big old military vehicle drove up and all these guys got out and pointed guns at us," mentioned Hewlett.
"Yeah, that sounds like the Centimator."
"Why do they call that thing the Centimator anyway?" asked Hewlett.
"What?" asked his father who seemed unperturbed by the newly arrived soldiers.
"Did I stutter? Who are those people pointing guns at us?"
"Oh them. That's just the Centimator and its crew. They patrol the grounds to help keep us safe. Hey! Soldiers, I've got everything under control."
"We heard a gun shot."
"Yeah, that was me. A zombie was attacking these two boys and I shot her. You guys can run along now."
The soldiers loaded up back into the vehicle and drove off into the night.
"Actually dad, that was Helen. She was with us."
Father Ng didn't say a word. He just stood there stunned by the news. He put his hands face up in front of him and stared at them. After a while they balled into fists. "I committed murder. God help me."
"Dad. You didn't know. It's dark out here. I mean, we're safe." Mbu tried to comfort his dad.
"Yes you are safe. You should go into the complex and see your mother. She's been so worried about you. She will be so glad you're alive and well. It's good to see you too, Hewlett. I've got to finish my shift, but I'll be in later. We can talk then. We're staying in room 407." Mbu and his father hugged and then Mbu and Hewlett entered the gate.
When they got to the room, Mbu knocked. His mother opened the door and immediately tears sprang to her eyes. They hugged for a long time. "I've been worried sick! I can't believe you're back! Hey, Hewlett. How are you?"
"I'm good, Mrs. Ng."
"Hey mom, can we shower? We smell like a cheese even the French wouldn't eat." She pointed them in the direction of the bathroom and they went off to clean themselves. By the time they were clean she had prepared some food for them and they sat around the table talking over food. At 4am, Father Ng joined them at the table and joined in on the current discussion.
"When we got here, this big old military vehicle drove up and all these guys got out and pointed guns at us," mentioned Hewlett.
"Yeah, that sounds like the Centimator."
"Why do they call that thing the Centimator anyway?" asked Hewlett.
"It is a master of destruction, or so they say," answered Father Ng.
"Then why not call it the Decimator?" asked Enma.
"Well, honey, to decimate literally means to 'destroy one tenth of.'"
"Oh. Well, I guess there's still at least one tenth of your language that I am unfamiliar with."
"Well, then we've gotta decimate your unfamiliarity. Besides, most people couldn't even tell you what decimate really means."
"So the 'centi' in Centimator is like in 'centipede'?" asked Enma.
"Yeah. See, you know English better than most Americans if you can figure out the linguistics of words." He put a hand on her knee.
"So are there such things as decapedes?" she asked with a grin.
"No, but that's quite funny!" They all laughed.
"They ride the short bus," added Hewlett.
"Their growth has been im-pede-d," Mbu threw in. Before long, the sun rose and they were all dog tired. They all slept through breakfast and woke up at lunch time. For lunch they went to the mess hall. It was taco Tuesday. They all sat at a table together.
"Don't forget to pray for your food," cautioned Father Ng.
"I already did," answered Mbu.
"You already prayed?" asked Father Ng.
"I already forgot to," said Mbu with a smile.
"They gave me enough food to kill a monkey. It's a good thing I have no simian grievances at the moment," Hewlett pointed out.
Mbu went to get a drink. While he was gone, Hewlett took his bag of chips.
"Where's my bag of chips?" Mbu asked when he returned to the table.
"It's right next to my bag of chips, unless someone stole yours."
Mbu punched Hewlett in the shoulder. "Give me that back, mouth breather," he said as he grabbed it back from Hewlett.
"It wasn't me, it was the seven-tentacled octopus!" said Hewlett. This was an old joke between them which involves a fugitive squid and what he would say to the police about his wife's murder.
Mbu's siblings were glad to see him back.
"Yo, bro," said Yanluo, sitting right next to his older brother.
"I'm so glad we're all back together again like one big happy family," beamed Yama.
Mbu didn't use a napkin, but wiped his hands on his shirt. His mother noticed this. "Do you always wipe your hands on your shirt?" she asked him.
"No, sometimes I wipe them on my pants." Both him and Hewlett cracked up at that one. Enma rolled her eyes. Mbu's siblings also thought it was hilarious. Father Ng shook his head, suppressing a grin.
Mbu didn't like using ice with his beverages because it invariably watered it down. "You know, how come when your drink is room temperature, people say it's warm? And then when your food is room temperature, they say it's cold? It's all in your head, people. It's the same temperature, different ideals."
"Oh yeah, look at Urban Confucius here. Yes, please share with us more of your wisdom, master guru," Hewlett mocked his best friend.
Not even an hour after they had eaten, Mbu and Hewlett were both in the bathroom in the mess hall in different stalls. At Code Gray, the bathrooms were called 'heads'. The tacos had done them wrong.
"Why does the sign on the wall in here say, 'Do Not Discuss Confidential Information In This Area'?" asked Hewlett about the sign above the bathroom's trash can.
"Well, this used to be a military base. This particular building had civilian contractors working in it. They couldn't have military people accidentally giving away confidential information in a place where people without the proper clearance could hear. Think of it this way, they're basically saying, 'Don't talk about shit while you're taking a shit or you'll be in deep shit.'"
"Oh. Well how the hell did you get so smart?"
"Shit, I don't know. I just made that shit up."
"Oh. Well, I'm gonna get outta here. It stinks like hell."
"If you can't stand the shit, get out of the shitter."
Just then, sirens blared all over Code Gray. Some sort of emergency was going down. The two made like they were in an ass wiping contest with a million dollar prize and went to see what was up.
"Don't forget to pray for your food," cautioned Father Ng.
"I already did," answered Mbu.
"You already prayed?" asked Father Ng.
"I already forgot to," said Mbu with a smile.
"They gave me enough food to kill a monkey. It's a good thing I have no simian grievances at the moment," Hewlett pointed out.
Mbu went to get a drink. While he was gone, Hewlett took his bag of chips.
"Where's my bag of chips?" Mbu asked when he returned to the table.
"It's right next to my bag of chips, unless someone stole yours."
Mbu punched Hewlett in the shoulder. "Give me that back, mouth breather," he said as he grabbed it back from Hewlett.
"It wasn't me, it was the seven-tentacled octopus!" said Hewlett. This was an old joke between them which involves a fugitive squid and what he would say to the police about his wife's murder.
Mbu's siblings were glad to see him back.
"Yo, bro," said Yanluo, sitting right next to his older brother.
"I'm so glad we're all back together again like one big happy family," beamed Yama.
Mbu didn't use a napkin, but wiped his hands on his shirt. His mother noticed this. "Do you always wipe your hands on your shirt?" she asked him.
"No, sometimes I wipe them on my pants." Both him and Hewlett cracked up at that one. Enma rolled her eyes. Mbu's siblings also thought it was hilarious. Father Ng shook his head, suppressing a grin.
Mbu didn't like using ice with his beverages because it invariably watered it down. "You know, how come when your drink is room temperature, people say it's warm? And then when your food is room temperature, they say it's cold? It's all in your head, people. It's the same temperature, different ideals."
"Oh yeah, look at Urban Confucius here. Yes, please share with us more of your wisdom, master guru," Hewlett mocked his best friend.
Not even an hour after they had eaten, Mbu and Hewlett were both in the bathroom in the mess hall in different stalls. At Code Gray, the bathrooms were called 'heads'. The tacos had done them wrong.
"Why does the sign on the wall in here say, 'Do Not Discuss Confidential Information In This Area'?" asked Hewlett about the sign above the bathroom's trash can.
"Well, this used to be a military base. This particular building had civilian contractors working in it. They couldn't have military people accidentally giving away confidential information in a place where people without the proper clearance could hear. Think of it this way, they're basically saying, 'Don't talk about shit while you're taking a shit or you'll be in deep shit.'"
"Oh. Well how the hell did you get so smart?"
"Shit, I don't know. I just made that shit up."
"Oh. Well, I'm gonna get outta here. It stinks like hell."
"If you can't stand the shit, get out of the shitter."
Just then, sirens blared all over Code Gray. Some sort of emergency was going down. The two made like they were in an ass wiping contest with a million dollar prize and went to see what was up.
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