Friday, March 4, 2011

The Greater Number part 5

  In the bathroom, Desmond was eyeballing the tomato soup label"Hey man, it says this was produced in a facility that processes soy, milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts and wheat.  Why the hell does every facility these days seem to process tree nuts?  What the hell is a tree nut?"
  Mbu grabbed the can from him.  "More importantly, how do we open this can?"
  "Aren't wither of you the least bit curious as to why the little girl said the monk was lying about his name and why he was so quick to shut her up when she was about to tell us his real name?"
  "Meh, she probably just thinks his name is Daddy, just like every other kid out there," Mbu shrugged.
  Meanwhile, Desmond was banging away at one of the cans with a key from his pocket.
  Mbu grabbed Desmond's banging hand.  "Hey Desi, if you can successfully think of a dumber way of doing that, then I won't be forced to schmack you upside the head right now."
  "Uh, I could have been trying to use my teeth."
  "Hmph.  Yeah, alright.  Well, why don't you go back to the kitchen and find us a can opener?"
  "Oh yeah, that too."
  After Desmond left, Mbu and I looked at each other and sighed.  Something struck me as humorous.  "Rub a dub dub.  Three men..."  Mbu punched me in the shoulder.  Just then, Desmond showed up with a can opener.
  When the three of us were done getting the smell of skunk off us, we went back to the kitchen.  The monk was anxiously looking out the kitchen window.  We looked out the window and saw a man man dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts standing outside and staring right back at us.
  Desmond handed the can opener back to the monk and asked, "Who's that?"
  The monk's eyes never left the strange man but he said, "I don't know, but maybe you guys should have kept the skunk on you."
  "What?  No!  How long has he been standing out there?" I asked.
  "Ten, fifteen minutes, " guessed the monk.
  "All three of us were covered in tomato soup at that time.  Something else must have caught his eye."
  Suddenly the man picked up a stone and hurled it at the window.  Mbu had to duck to avoid getting hit by the stone.  Shattered glass covered the kitchen table.  I wouldn't have been surprised if any of us needed another bath after that, or at least a change of pants.
  "Look!" shouted Desmond.  When we did, we saw that the dead man had started approaching the facility. And he wasn't alone.

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